February 4, 2014
you must be 20 something to ride this coaster.
When I was 23 I declared "I'm going to write a book" I was the everyday girl, I was in transition - unsure about all the choices you make at this seemingly young, vulnerable age. Faced with juggling and decisions. No matter how much of "the shit" you have together, is indeed together... You still feel as if there's no guide.
The trials and the triumphs of life can take you on a roller coaster ( I refer to that often)... the friendships, the relationships and the grown up you are still growing into!
I wrote constantly about this, until I was 25... Than I realized what I wrote was true but I was no where near done! When your 25 you are thrust so far into being an "adult".
It takes your breath away.
If your me, you joked that you had a mid life crisis! If you were me, you knew you had an amazing support system behind you and a plethora of opportunity at your fingertips - even though there were things that I needed, that were missing. If you were me, you would have laughed at my 23 year old self, there's no way to know the journey of the 20 something before she's 25! I learned and did the most at 25... (and still today at 26)
Tomorrow, I will be exactly 3 months shy of my (gasp) 27th birthday... Pieces of the puzzle missing while some of them glued permanently into place. I will always be the everyday girl, gal, lady, woman. I am still living the journey of the 20 something.
I still believe that the morals I was raised on, the words that I wrote, the lessons I've learned, the concepts, the dreams and the plans - they are all still so embedded in me, and I am constantly building on them!
So much of me laughs, pats myself on the back, smiles, gets mad and cries.
My writing makes me feel secure in a world of uncertainty.
This ever uncertain roller coaster veered very very much off course just 1 month ago.
And my story now takes a different turn, my story now touches on grief and strength. And overcoming loss, trusting in your faith, relying on your "list of favorite things", valuing rekindled friendships in the wake of tragedy, understanding selflessness like you never thought you could, becoming a version of yourself that you never knew could exist.
My world (like many others) is an up and down and all around journey and while the journal is something I have kept for me but planned to share with you... So much has happened to what I thought were the biggest moments in life BEFORE I had even reached the biggest moments in my life.
I know the best of my writing is yet to come! I know this new place I am in will far surpass where I once was. I know that I still have 3 more years in my 20s, I am buckled in my seat and my hands are in the air!
Hope you will be along while I ride the ride <3
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