Confession, I cried every single day in 2014.
At some point or another tears fell down my cheeks.
I often prayed they could be tears of joy or from laughing. But some were cleansing, some so deep they took my breath away. Sometimes unexpectedly, and other times I just needed it.
I made so many promises and solutions last New Years. And tragically, only 6 days into that year, my whole world, and all 26 years of my life on this earth was shattered.
When tragedy struck I knew I would be forever changed. It's hard to think and it's hard to make it all work and see the future when you are cloudy with grief.
After the most traumatic event I will undoubtedly ever face and what I graciously and effortlessly call, the worst year of my life... I welcomed a new year and thanked god for the strength (probably from my brother) for getting me through. I counted down from 10 to 1 and in that moment I knew all the barriers had been lifted.
I was surrounded by faces I love, and my phone was in hand so I could call those I wasn't with. I was excited but also a little nervous! I was in a sea of champagne, cheering and so much love in the air... I felt the weight get lifted at exactly 12:01 am and I cried of course!
It might have been the anticipation, the relief, it could have been the Mr. when he whispered in my ear, "you made it" and the almost congratulations from my girlfriends, knowing how badly I needed to say a very polite F.U. to 2014 it made me giggle, made me feel a way I never have before!
It is of course many days after the new year, and I have taken a lot - I mean an uncomfortably yet magnificent amount of time to myself. I did lots of reflecting, reading, netflixing, retail therapy-ing, bonding with my family, I even had to go back to work, I have kept up my writing (in such a miraculous way) and it has all aided in some form of normalcy.
And it's been these days to myself that all my promises, my solutions, my plans, my checklists my goals and my NEW have stayed true and kept me steady...
It is quite lovely and quite happy for the turnout, it's just the beginning of a beautiful chapter!
The NEW chapter. <3
