it's always a party!

holding tight to traditions with a tweak or two:

i grew up in a family where there are too many of us to keep count! (on both my mother & fathers side) my amazing grandmothers, cooked and baked for days in preparation and supported the notion, "the more the merrier" - like they invented it! typical, always ready to feed an army! and, you know i think it makes for warmth and a good time!

families these days, they are extended, they are bigger and better!  friends and neighbors, distants relatives and out of towners join in the mix and that mix brings cheer and lots of love to your home!

as i'm getting older and starting to lay roots into my own traditions while carrying out what my family has passed down to me, i truly love christmas eve! my theory is almost an open door policy, bring yourself, an appetizer, a cake or a bottle of wine. join in on the laughter, play games, tell stories and soak up the season! i enjoy a more casual and fun environment with music and dancing. almost like a cocktail party!

easy peasy entertaining tips for the hostess:

1) set up for a buffet, makes for a better flow of traffic,

your guests will feel comfortable and at ease. we call this "picking" in my home. everything stays out all night and everyone can eat as they please!

2) cocktail party style, set up a bar for your guests! (even for the little guys) head to your local dollar store for festive cups and straws. make a signature drink! 

( recipe for Christmas Sangria will follow this post)

3) unless the queen of england is coming to your table, you can and should use that damned paper & plastic ware. it is festive & much less of a hassle for clean up! 

4) if you are anything like me, i'm sure your home is decked to the nines. you may think your table doesn't need much i say: don't be shy: formal or informal setting, a centerpiece is always great! it could be something as simple as ornaments in a vase!

                                                      

5) craft with your guests! set up a simple and unique table for the younger children who will be at your party, let them make gingerbread houses or christmas trees made out of peppermints!

6) bake, bake, bake - i'm no cake boss, but i do throw down on treats! 

turn the simplest of treats into a festive one!

red & green rice krispie treats, chocolate covered pretzels or 

white/ vanilla cupcakes with a candy cane to represent the north pole, 

strawberries dipped in chocolate with red or green sprinkles.

be sure to always make your traditions apart of your holiday and maybe this year you will incorporate some of my fun and festive tips! (take pictures so i can see!)

wishing you all the merriest & brightest of holidays 

looking forward to catching up with you for new years!

<3 <3

ode to holiday hustle...

with no rhyme or reason we all give ourselves just a little bit of extra "frantic" for our holiday celebrations! whether you are a hostess or a guest, 

there is always much to do last minute.

i personally have just returned from them myself, 

and FINALLY able to sit here and give some helpful tips to you darlings!

just hours left until christmas eve gatherings...

i'm sure there are some of us that need to clean, bake, shop 

and do the ever so dreadful wrapping! 

certainly, we all wish we had a buddy the elf to pick up the slack for us! 

it becomes easy to panic at the last minute but please, don't stress! 

no better place to start then here, 

so sit back, relax and make a list of what you might have to do...

shop til you drop, or until they close!

remember if you are still looking for gifts for your loved ones, 

most stores are open until at least 8pm this evening. 

need some assistance?!  

revisit my past SHOPPING GUIDES 2011 & 2012 ( Guys & Gals)

*remember special doesn't need to be expensive, 

special can be a great DIY gift!

its always nice to receive a handmade gift, 

it means the you were thought about in the process ;)

make an ornament:
clear glass balls, some mop & glo and glitter!

1*pour the mop & glo (2 tsp) into ornament, 

swirl it around making sure the entire inside is coated.

2* dump out the excess mop & glo into separate cup - YOU CAN CONTINUE to reuse it. 

3* funnel in extra fine glitter then shake up so the glitter disperses evenly. dump out the extra glitter into a seperate cup - YOU CAN REUSE THIS TOO!

4* place top back on the ornament and adorn with a bow of your choice .

chalkboard painted wine glasses:
glass wine goblets, chalkboard paint & chalk!

it really doesn't get much easier then this. all you need is time to let this beauty dry!

1* tape off the portion of the glass that you don't want to be painted (in my case i only did the bottom)

2* follow instructions per the type of paint you are using ~ grab a box and let it sit upside down to dry for up to 8 hours!

3* for some extra flare find wine glass charms in your local craft store & of course no wine glass would be complete without a great bottle of wine!

hope these tips and ideas 

help make the last of your christmas shopping & prep easy!

up next hostess with the mostess, christmas/ christmas eve style!

<3

(i used krylon spray paint chalk board paint, 

martha stewart glitter found in local craft store)

give a little & get a little!

tis' the season for giving and hey, 

getting isn't all that bad either!

especially when it is THIS simple.

1) log on to your facebook 

2) find our page @ Secrets of the 3 S's 

3) like the page ( if you don't already ) 

THEN 

share it with your friends!

4) write a post on the Secrets wall and all of your friends who you "sent over" will LIKE that post also!

the person who brings in the most likes to the page will be the lucky new owner of these great products from Mary Kay!

CONTEST ENDS ON: 

12/12/12 

DIRECT LINK:

www.facebook.com/SecretsOfS

hostess with the mostess, thanksgiving addition.

first and foremost i would like to wish all of my readers a very happy thanksgiving...

may you enjoy time with the ones you hold nearest and dearest <3

remember to always be grateful for the wonderfulness of life :)

here are some quick and easy tips for a special celebration:

make your guests feel great
 assign a table seating - it ensures that everyone knows there is a place for them and that you thought of them in your planning. 

keep it kid friendly
put the fancy china away! nothing makes a parent of a child and a child feel more uncomfortable then breaking something at your table! head out to your local dollar store - and get them festive colored or holiday themed tableware! get a board game and some silly and fun toys for them to play with! maybe set up a craft (depending upon their age range) and allow the kids to make turkey hands! 

centerpieces
while making your tablescape something awards are won for, it is always important to remember the HEIGHT issue! never make a centerpiece too tall that your guests cannot talk with peering through it or passing the mashed potatoes.

hope some of these tips help to make your holiday 100% effortless!

all i want for christmas... (continued)

it always seems that the ladies are hardest to buy for

 but i believe that isn't the case.

 ( bc we get what we wants when we see it! )

now the guys, are a totally different story... 

what boggles my mind most about them; they're always in 

dire need of boxers, white tees & socks.

how original!? 

so this year i thought i'd capture just exactly 

what i think "mr. impossible" needs and secretly wants...

essentials: 

after a very long no shave november, 

i think every man will CERTAINLY need this 3 in 1 trimmer.

while winter accessories, aren't always a staple in every guys closet

he can't go wrong with a good hat & of course a scarf (good for work & casual looks)

($15-$29)

good as gold:

i always want to get tickets for him to something... 

but its really impossible with his schedule.

a gift certificate to ticket master is the perfect solution! 

you can put any amount on it you choose 

and he can use it toward any music or sports event!

the connoisseur:

so he's finally fixing up the man cave or cleaned up the apartment?

give him the gift of entertaining - manly style!

sure, you can make a board for him on pinterest but this can be all HIS!

and he will obviously take GREAT pride in that ;)

what bar would be complete without these?

a 10 in 1 bar keepers dream tool & a "cookbook" for his inner mixologist!

($50/$10)

literature:

a magazine subscription is always a great idea for a guy.
if he has a kindle or a nook, make the same choice!

its certainly a useful weapon for long commutes on the train

and will always keep him entertained & informed.

just a few he may be interested in are - espn, maxim & rolling stone

(2 Subscriptions for 1 $29.95/ 22 issues for $24.00  / 26 issues for $19.95)

(*ladies don't hate: you drooled over christain grey for months now allow him the same courtesy)

all i want for christmas is...

well, i've already got my two front teeth, and i didn't really use my uggs too much last year so i don't need those. maybe that, or that hmm no - sound familiar? 

it should, how could anyone be prepared for the holidays right now?! 

truthfully for all i can recall it was just labor day, then i was swooning over pumpkin spice lattes being back and now starbucks is handing out holiday cups. WTF is going on?! 

 i digress, time is certainly flying by 

and we seem to make it to the holidays faster and faster EVERY year.

that being said, i am beyond prepared this time around. 

( because i love LISTS) it is my pleasure to present to you this years 

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE.

i tackled this list much different then last years. ( feel free to take a trip back in time... )

 this year, you'll shop with a purpose, budget friendly, some steals & some splurges,

longevity and of course thoughtfulness.  

now sit back, relax, and please

AVOID the urge to scoop up these goodies for yourself. ( i'm guilty already! )

* for the girl who has everything...

this person is always hardest to shop for! i say, not any more.
why not consider many of the gifts that nearly no one ever thinks of or the gift that this person probably wants for themselves but forgets to pick up. 
    give the gift of style and functionality! 

a magazine subscription

While there are tons of magazine out on the market, 

(and you should go with what the recipient is interested in) 

I'm endorsing this one! 

SELF covers fashion, fitness life & so much more. 

Their BEST deal is 2 years for $20! 

PS. they always have the best "free goodies" 

  accessories 

you can't go wrong with adding some spice! 
the seasons hottest accessories are a great gift, 
they will be able to repeat for SEASONS to come.
prices of the items below range from $14 - $26
 spikes, studs, metallics & animal print!

(links above)


manicures to adore

give the gift of a DIY manicure! 
$8 and the best part is many beauty supply stores offer deals 
( so get a color for yourself also)
pick from an array of beautiful colors then include a file, a buffer & some hand lotion.
this way the color is always hers to have ;)

check out the leading lady collection by essie 

personified fancy

this is the most special and unique gift out there,

who doesn't love a good monogram?!

cell phone cases,  aprons, totes and more!

prices under $30, you simply cannot go wrong! 

check out this amazing website!

i must warn you, this list was greatly scaled down 
AND had to be broken up into several parts!
GUYS, KIDS & DIY are NEXT!
:-)

these days are ours, oh happy days!

THE FALL LINE UP...

Monday: 

While no one ever likes that poor girl Monday. I think it's best to ignore the ickiness & simply "feel good". Secrets, will post a quote and encourage everyone to share their own too!

Tuesday: 

Is POLL day! Have a question, want it answered? Feel free to e-mail it to Secrets and we'd be glad to get the majority vote for you or even focus it in an article!

Wednesday: 

NEW product/ must have item day! 

Thursday: 

ALL NEW BLOGS WILL BE RELEASED ON THURSDAYS!

Friday:

 Once was and will continue to be.... FASHION FRIDAY! Whether Secrets is featuring a COLOR, a hot trend for the season or our own outfit of the day. We invite you to submit your very own  #OOTD. One Secrets fan a week will be featured on the BLOG, fan pages & soon to be INSTAGRAM account!

crisis come and crisis go.

hello hello friends, we meet again!

this time it truly feels like forever. i'd like to just pick up where i left off, but it has been SOO long i don't even remember where i once was! ahh, as some of you are aware...

my hard drive crashed and i lost all of my work. really a tough pill to swallow.  i didn't take it very well, the situation royally SUCKED. but i knew i needed to find the good in the bad.  what was i left to do? i couldn't revert back to my unfinished posts, my journals or my long list of ideas. they were all gone! so, with no choice in the matter: i had to start OVER.

call me crazy, but i went real OLD SCHOOL, everyday carried in my purse was my new PURPLE BINDER, filled with loose leaf, folders and a make up case of pencils, pens and highlighters. for the entire month of september i planned a party ( in 3 weeks, take that kris jenner) i wrote, and i wrote some more.

strangely refreshing and calming, but whats a new beginning if you don't feel a bit scared and a little doubt? i made it a point to be happy that i had the ability to still write even though i lost all of my work and was incredibly bitter - i was grateful, after all i didn't lose my mind ( well that's still out for the jury ) and the thoughts kept flowing and f l o w i n g. 

we can allow just a moment of silence and then quickly get right to business! ( moment  .  .  .  .  .  over )

welcome back to SECRETS, there is so much in store! :-)

please follow up with the next post to see the newly revised weekly guide of what to expect from Secrets & remember to follow on FACEBOOK

destination, now known!

lost & found...

may is undeniably the craziest month for me. it's always the same, every year with no fail. it could have a little something to do with it being my birthday month ( i'll be discussing 25 in the next post ) but i found that i was all over the place. never able to be STILL! to sit down and be at the computer to hammer out anything was a far fetched dream! sure, i was writing in my magazines, voice notes in my phone to last for DAYS, but to sit here and write something i was super proud of and exciting about, just wasn't there.

i didn't want to sell myself short, but juggling a busy month and some writers remorse -  i took a decent break.  now i'm back with a vengeance! and the way i look at it is from drafts come crafts!

maybe MAY is supposed to take over my life the way it does, wear me down, bring me up and remind me just how thrilling the roller coaster can be! so i re-evaluated my position here with SECRETS... i don't want to fall into a trap of just posting to post. i'm at the point where my blog is now a resume and if i'm not confident in selling it or use it as a writing sample. should i post it here just for the sake of it being thursday and having to?!

my blog isn't the know all, end all. however it is my baby and i'm learning how to be a good parent to her. in the past few months my goals and endeavors have been tweaked, passions in my personal and professional life were crisscrossing! and as i said, being extra critical of my writing was my number one priority. 

when i started SECRETS it was just a fun way for me to share tips/tricks and real life stuff that girlfriends need to know! i am polishing this beauty and rebuilding her identity! so the crisis is averted! 

hope you all enjoy what SECRETS has in store this summer! <3

*remember, i'm on a constant quest to expand my audience & talk about what you wanna hear

so please share this page with your friends & ask anything you want! ;) 

pardon the interruption...

don't sweat the small stuff...

as ladies we know how easy it is to get distracted and misplaced within the walls of our own lives. we get caught up, beat up and over whelmed. it happens too often, it makes us break out, freak out and INDULGE!  so in honor of us, on this international women's day - i thought i would tackle the nitty gritty, the part of us that we so often struggle with but will learn to LOVE! 

* remember to say I, when reading if you recognize any of these *

i am the queen... 

of taking on too much

i over book my time with projects, there are to-do lists in pages of my magazines and the second i get an idea - i grab my phone and talk to siri. ( i have more voice notes then i'm actually willing to listen to.) but in my eyes, i like the productive flow of ideas. especially since writing has become so important and is single handedly changing my path one awesome article at a time! now hustling is in my nature, and with that comes the crashed/ burnt out/ lost feeling - and that sadly is just as much MY THING. 

"STOP". 

                    someday's when blow comes to blow, you may just wanna throw in the towel 

you'd think it's easier to give in, for the rest we think we so deserve. truth be told, when your pursuing an aspiration - no matter how big or small this task may be, remember to put yourself first. that's who your working for anyway aren't you! you are your own boss. you'll know when your feeling drained and when you've just had ENOUGH. 

aspirations vs. perspiration 

                               this theory, this little mantra i try to repeat over and over in my head... 

i'm getting to where i don't want to sweat the small stuff. literally, if it isn't going to effect the walls in my home, the way i pour milk into my cereal bowl tomorrow morning, and how i do my hair... i  need to stop letting it tear apart my life!

just live!

the only way to do it right, is to keep doing it! you'll make rules, changes and see other bumps along the way. but the only way to know your doing it okay, is to the successes. whether that be an extra 30 mins of quiet time in the bathroom after the shower, 10 more mins to snooze in the morning, getting a babysitter for the kids, or getting a drink with your girl friends.

life is too short to get lost in the little things. even though, we as ladies tend to make all little things big things... ONE thing we should learn to do, is take some time to celebrate ourselves 

( in whatever way you see possible/feel necessary) your good vibes will flow through and through... my message when your feeling down and out is to keep ticking - because the only time to really "stop" is when your heart does.

cheers to us, you beautiful everyday gals <3

POLL NUMBERO UNO!

In a new effort to give back and include more everyday girls in my journey
I'd like to ask you all what other topics you would like to see me cover!


Please vote in the poll below!


<a href="http://poll.pollcode.com/j1v8">Take my poll!</a>


And as always keep passing the Secrets along ;-) . <3

chuck full of... EVERY' THANNGGG

where to begin?! it has been QUITE some time, i'm excited to say that today's blog is reaching a TON of new people! what could be better then new friends! SO much has happened through the last several weeks, there is much to cover so sit tight and buckle up...


rewind, now play:


for 26 weeks, on any given sunday and the occasional monday my other half would politely dismiss himself from existence and take off to the wonderful far away land of the NFL. ( side bar - anyone else have the issue - hes missing in action and then super moody if fantasty didn't go well or if his team lost? - NEED that feedback that i'm not ALONE! ) 


now that being said, i'd makes jokes and say that he was entering back into working society after super bowl but in case you've been living under a rock for the last 2 weeks, the giants won the super bowl. and well we are giants fans, so this was MAJAAAAA! we were kinda on a high for a few days after! but (TYPICALLY) shortly after his return, i'd escape - sorry babe, but fashion is my thing! oh the irony, the second he returns i DIP out and get all caught up in fashion weeks glory! 7 days just isn't long enough ( if i may say so myself! ) *and since there is so much to cover, fashion week will have a separate wrap up blog ( MONDAY )- with trends, polls and personal favorites!


and the grammy goes to:


the grammys are about music. you love it, you feel it in your bones, brings you up when your down, ya dance to it, sing it in the shower/ in the car and that's whats best about it! we like what we like and that's final. can't knock all genres of music just because it isn't our own "personal taste". now i'll be honest and admit my i pod has everything from SKRILLEX to the SMASHING PUMPKINS to JOSH GROBAN, BRITNEY to GUETTA to the BEATLES and then some. my personal music library is vast because that is how i like it... so before you read the next comments you will know, i'm a lover not a hater! that being said, i'll go on with my personal taste! FAVE PERFORMANCES WERE FROM: BRUNO MARS - TAYLOR SWIFT - SIR PAUL - CHRIS BROWN - GUETTA - FOO FIGHTER PLUS...

ALL HAIL ADELE. the girl is amazing, as we've all already known. but something about her being gone for MONTHS and wondering "well was she back, yes in body but like her voice too?! hell yeah she was! everything about her is humble and pure, no gimmicks, no costumes - just pure beauty, talent and class! 

speaking of class, or lack thereof... that sacrilegious display by nikki minaj was probably about the last of her i'll ever enjoy. yes, her rhymes are catchy but that DISPLAY was BEYOND. yes, lady gaga pushes an envelope and she is crafty and music is an art form - but that demonic presence performance was shameful and CLASS-LESS!  

just ONE more mention: katy perry - whom i've always enjoyed just a little bit, def didn't do it for me. don't take a great year of amazing singles and touring to make a public announcement about your feelings on your divorce at the GRAMMYS! i hate to say, she would have been better off releasing "part of me" on youtube the next day, even better perform it on LENO! LAME. dirty laundry is meant for the bathroom floor - not a public stage!


requests lines are open:



the journey to 100 "LIKES" was indeed a success.  i am very humbled, to say the least! sure you can "like or follow" anything you choose to on facebook & twitter, you'll read any news story on one of billions of media outlets you want to and then somehow you wander over to my little blog! for some comic relief, a taste of fabulous and just catching up with whats happening in the world of an everyday girl. i am touched and as i take on all my new obstacles and expansions with my writing, this growing crowd means so much to me! doesn't seem like enough, but simply said ~ THANK YOU, EVERYONE!


that means, there's contest underway, why a contest you ask? because i've been VERY lucky. you (the fans) have given such amazing support to my endeavor and brought so many new followers to my blog. its just seems right to give back! so i want you all to share your BEST KEPT SECRETS! open up and give us your best beauty, shopping or even cooking tips! any and all special tricks up your sleeves? c'mon, i know there are tons you could share! check out the fanpage for full details and send em' in.
DEADLINE FOR ENTRY - 2/20 @ 2PM.


too for me to keep up:


i've had this ASS kicking cold for about 4 days now, losing my mind a bit and then on saturday: i lost my sense of taste/smell from all this congestion. it's not pretty, i've been attached to a box to tissues and vicks vapor rub for too long! i am so behind in not only writing, but laundry, my shows and LIFE in general. TOO MUCH CRAY FOR MY DAYS! 
i feel as if everything's been flying past me and i'm barely able to make a list of what i've missed, let alone attend it! got me to thinking about this article i read once in a magazine... am i suffering from "FOMO". FEAR OF MISSING OUT -  i'm going to be doing a huge article about life and juggling and this said "FOMO" if anyone is interested please e-mail me, i'd like to spotlight some other everyday gals (maybe even guys) to widen the perspective.


i apologize for my delay on all the catchings up, even though i did leave you with a bunch of goodies today - i have GREAT things for the coming days...  new stuff in the works, as i try to get back in the groove of things!


 stay healthy dolls! <3 .  :)

time flies when you're having fun.

where has the time gone?! we're nearly 20 days into the new year and i personally feel like time is flying, what about you?! 

how are your resolutions or did you make a solution for yourself! ( i'm hoping whichever you did pick, you are finding great success! ) it's tough to buckle down and commit to something new, but after a few tries it's not NEW - it's NATURAL! that was my main goal when i introduced the idea of solutions, i wanted it to be simply effortless for you to change once and see results forever! 

speaking of solutions, i've been working incredibly hard at my own. a couple of blogs ago, i announced i was writing a book. which is the craziest, most awesome thing i've ever said, let alone decided! its a very personal confession to admit but i was so relieved once i got it off my chest! i just began to think that there isn't anything you should hold yourself back from. before its too late in your life, you have to take a leap of faith. otherwise you may become this "woulda, coulda, shoulda" the weight of that alone is something i don't ever want to carry! so i figure while i'm still young and have the ability to do so, i would!

i have received such wonderful feedback from facebook friends, people i've never met, industry pros and my own family & friends. i am truly so honored that my secrets, witty little take on life and all the in between can make a small difference to sooo many. i'm in the process of expanding my audience and trying out some new things and it is very intimidating but we shall try and cross our fingers!

i thought you may enjoy a sneak peak of the introduction to what i've been writing for the book!

are you a master or a disaster?

first things first, take a moment to get comfortable. if you aren't familiar with my blog, welcome and if you are, welcome back! it is time for SECRETS to get down to the nitty gritty. the basis of this blog in particular is for educational purposes. yes, we're learning today girls! we must all give back and teach one another the tricks of the trade. so get out a piece of paper and a pen - you've got notes to take!

today's lesson is on: 

DATING

the do's the don'ts. the expectations, failures and hang ups.

the recipes you were once given, throw em' away.

it's time to start fresh and bring in some new ingredients!

what has always shocked me most about "dating" is the plethora of ridiculous pressure we are all forced to endure. stereotypes and drama are far too involved in something that should be fun and care free! and after having countless conversations with my own girlfriends, i really just decided it was time we address this!

i feel that there is so much we are NOT saying to each other and it should NOT be as TABOO as it can come across. that being said, we're girlfriends and this blogs main goal is to keep you in "the know" with the best kept secrets for the everyday girl ( from an everyday girl).  my views will NOT be and should NOT be your bible. you should simply adapt this info to your own perspectives, situation and scenario. they will vary, some will apply and some will not.  ultimately it's important that you remember that dating was once meant to be fun and enjoyable, not an anxiety induced nightmare! 

1) under pressure?

EVERYONE, i repeat EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU ( and even the one writing this ) has been in "THOSE" shoes, will be in them, or is still looking for the perfect pair. do not judge your girlfriends. whether she is single ( looking or not looking ) married, divorced, dating or in a serious relationship. we are all too well versed in what society asks of us.  and society doesn't know half of the battle!

the everyday girl is not living in the metropolis of manhattan and going to mixers every night of the week and meeting a million guys. ( as much as we all wish we could be living the carrie bradshaw/ samantha jones sex & and the city tale) ! most girls are working full time jobs and then a part time job! juggling going to school, starting her career or  finding herself. and let me just tell you, its impossible to find TWO things at ONCE. you try finding yourself and "mr. right/ or even mr. right now" at the same time. you would probably have better luck passing your nursing boards first! don't feel pressured into juggling all the facets of life at one time. if its time, it will happen, if it's right, it will work! you could kiss a lot of frogs til your find your prince, or ( i prefer the theory ) try on every shoe in saks to find that perfect pair! but if your not there, no need to force it -  the hoopla's of dating may only stress you more!

2) just a small town girl, 

living in a lonely world?

there's a catch 22 with what your location does for your swag, you tend to feel left in the dust with your options of places to find a date! sad to say, but we can most definitely become products of our environment and sometimes living in a small town does have its "dating disadvantages".  now its not to say that you couldn't find a great candidate in a local bar or night club but the setting is ah not ideal! its just all wrong! in a haze of booze, loud music,  rowdy folk and fist pumping its not always the perfect time to  strike up a deep conversation. but if you must and a connections been felt then at the very least,  get a phone number and mingle! its not the best idea but its not the worst! a little does go a long way, you could leave a lasting impression! but there are PLENTY of other places, more realistic places that you would never think to look. K.I.S.S - dunkin donuts, the book store, a restaurant, the bank, the post office. the eye is tamed to look around, use your undeniable charm and spark an unlikely conversation. you would never think it but, being in the most unsuspecting of places is the best place and the least CONFRONTATIONAL! why does everyone revert back into the shell when they see a good thing! if your perusing for a date be casual, none of that forceful awkward behavior at the bank! ( because if you do, you have to switch branches and thats a pain in the ass!) being your "normal/natural" self will get you far, BELIVE ME many people pray to find a "small town" girl! 

3) it's not you - it's me 

no but really, it is me...

these are your tried and true - do's and dont's. earth to mrs. set standards... it is okay to break some of your rules. if you are starting out fresh, you must treat all opportunities as new! do not judge all books/looks based upon what you think you have read/seen before. its a date, a friendly non confrontation encounter! why in gods name should we read this person the riot act?! this is why people run away. now, don't get my messages twisted. you should maintain boundaries and rules. however, YOU CAN venture out of your barriers every so often and experience something different. and for the love of god, the only time different is bad is when it involves food! if you don't try to see "dating" from a different perspective each time you head out into the open market, you shouldn't bother going out there in the first place! as women, we almost always set ourselves up some for minor failures because we hold tight to this idea of what we already have experienced. if you never try it, you will never know! it is more then half the time, a gals irrational and concocted hang ups that get the best of her. sadly, that's when you may miss out on the "lucky one". so please, PUT YOUR FRIGGEN GUARD DOWN :) 

4) a spoonful of sugar 

helps the medicine go down

hmm, i do love me some mary poppins, BUT walt disney did not intend that song to be the melodic tune for dating intolerance! you must face the reality here, do not grin and bare "it" if you really don't like "it". more then often we let ourselves get swept up in something because we think its "a beautiful tale" for example, he's your moms bosses son, and i see them all the time... NO, STOP! that doesn't matter you are what matters and if you're not feeling "it", then you should stop faking it! at the end of the day, its only going to cause YOU more grief.  why drag yourself to dull movies, and terrible asian/italian fusion restaurants. how many DRINKS can you have in one dinner just to tolerate someones voice?! STOP the MADDNESS! it boggles my mind but to each their own. we can sit here in, oh i don't know 8 months and ponder where the time went... tick tock, tick tock! too harsh a thought putting it that way? well okay fair enough! but sometimes the best lessons are learned the hardest ways! you stringing something/one along because you think you need to settle, is just as bad as his jokes! there are "plenty of fish in the sea, or ( again my favorite theory ) shoes in saks"! bottom line, DO NOT SUGAR COAT YOUR FEELINGS FOR YOUR NEEDS. what you NEED is inside of you, yes my dear - you can find it in YOU, not inside of a MAN!

5) vaRiety is the spice of life

i know this example seems extremely wild but work with me here, this has 2 parts/ meanings! similar to letting your guard down, you need to get out of the ritual aspect of being a serial dater. WHILE also being the girl who dates the SAME kind of guy... i would say its best to have a variety of options ( like with your cereal, because you aren't going to eat cheerios everyday for the rest of your life, right?) what in the hell are you going to accomplish from that? "oh gee, i've made the same mistake 42 times!" now, attraction to a certain type doesn't make you anything more then determined, when it comes to life that's a great quality to have and a major factor in success. but when it comes to dating, determination to ALWAYS land ( for example) a gorilla juice head: that treats you like shit, is self centered and doesn't call when hes gone away for the weekend with his boys - BUT wait, he's good arm candy! well my love that is a DETERMINING factor that you are CLEARLY bugging and you don't need someone like him. ;) what truthfully makes NO sense to me, is the repetitive nature of the beast. BREAK that mold for the good of yourself. sure you can have a "type" but variety is the spice of life. take some time in between suitors to re-evaluate where you are and you may find that you are happiest when taking your "needs" into consideration!

maybe none of those examples suit you or maybe all of them do, what you need to remember is you are in control! those old stereotypes shouldn't shape you, the scenarios and situations above are mini tips and lessons that you can develop around! take them with you along the way. always remember you are the captain of your "life ship" and you can definitely steer it in the right direction! and hopefully that direction will lead you right to....

 10022- SHOE @ SAKS NYC

did you think i was joking?! my theory reigns true, 

i told you there are PLENTY OF PAIRS out there for you to TRY ON

<3